BDSM Basics

BDSM is a wide world with many different areas to explore. In this space I will give a very brief introduction to the concepts, as well as resources for educating yourself further, and links to some of the specific kinks and fetishes I partake in and offer My submissives as an NYC BDSM Dominatrix.

Diagram of the components of the overlapping initialism "BDSM", namely: Bondage and Discipline (BD), Domination and Submission (DS), Sadism and Masochism (SM).

To begin, what does BDSM even mean? The acronym stands for Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, and Sadism and Masochism. The acronym BDSM originated in the 90s, though elements of it do predate that. Nowadays, BDSM is used as somewhat of an umbrella term, encompassing a wide variety of kinks and fetishes, some of which may not fall neatly into the boxes of BDSM. What BDSM absolutely is NOT, however, is abuse. If you are struggling to understand the difference, there are some excellent explanations of consent, and BDSM vs abuse and what that looks like, available here.

In order to help you educate yourself further, I have compiled a short list of educational materials and resources that I believe are helpful for those new to the world of BDSM, kink, fetish, et cetera. Note, none of the links here are affiliate links!

BDSM Educational Resource List

“The New Topping Book” and “The New Bottoming Book“, both by Janet W. Hardy & Dossie Easton
“Partners in Power: Living in Kinky Relationships” by Jack Rinella
“The (New and Improved) Loving Dominant“, by John Warren & Libby Warren
“Playing Well With Others, Your Field Guide to Discovering, Navigating and Exploring the Kink, Leather and BDSM Communities“, by Lee Harrington
“Conquer Me“, by Kacie Cunningham
“SM 101: A Realistic Introduction“, by Jay Wiseman
“The Mistress Manual“, by Mistress Lorelai
“Wild Side Sex, The Book of Kink“, by Midori
“At Her Feet, Powering Your Femdom Relationship“, by TammyJo Eckhart and Fox
“Consensual Sadomasochism“, by Bill Henkin and Sybil Holiday
“Paradigms of Power: Styles of Consensual Master/Slave Relationships“, by Raven Kaldera
“How to Capture A Mistress“, by Karen Martin
“Screw The Roses, Send Me Thorns“, by Philip Miller, Molly Devon, & William A. Granzig
“The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities“, by Dossie Easton & Catherine A. Liszt
“Exhibitionism for the Shy: Show Off, Dress Up and Talk Hot“, by Carol Queen
KinkAcademy, created by Princess Kali
The BDSM Wiki
7DaysofDomination, created by Lola Jean, Shayla Lange, & Veda

Lastly, in addition to the above resources, I also have a separate page on SSC / RACK / PRICK, and a mini-encyclopedia of the kinks and fetishes that I most frequently engage in, which you can feel free to peruse.